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Friday, April 1, 2011

Where I'm going, and where I've been

Do I still have readers? It would be awesome if I did. Here's the deal. I am now 26 weeks and some days pregnant with a little girl. She's baking up right nice. We're going to name her Clara. I know, it's adorable. The flip side of that deal is called hyperemesis gravidarum, hiply called HG by my doctor. HG is basically one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life. We're all used to pregnant ladies feeling a bit peckish their first trimesters, maybe having a bit of sickness here and there. It goes away by 12 weeks, and then the pregnant lady gets her bump and she's adorable and then the third trimester comes and she gets bigger and starts waddling and then she has a baby. Countless TV shows and movies have shown me that this is the way it works, dammit. Not so for those diagnosed with HG. HG is a bitch. It's bitchier than first season Topanga at a NRA convention. It's more evil than Evil Shawn in the episode where he killed everyone. It means you will still be puking your face off at 26 and some days pregnant. It means you will have to choke down protein shakes every day to keep your weight up. It means the dog that you rescued by yourself two years ago and thought the sun rose and set with you will suddenly start cuddling up to your boyfriend, because he's the one who takes care of her now. It means that you do the bare minimum- get up, go to work, go home, lay down, and things like your social life and that fun blog you used to have will go straight out the window. HG is a bitch, and I would like to kill her. It. Whatever. There's light at the end of the tunnel, here. There's two pills that are magical. They stop the puking! Which stops the dehydration! Just in time for the third trimester, in which you get too tired to do anything and too big to put on shoes. So that's where I am. Tethered to magic pills, but making it. I am also in the process of moving out to the 'burbs with my awesome boyfriend. That happens next Saturday, and there will be internet there. Our own network and everything. Couple that with the fact that said boyfriend's spring sports leagues have all started and that all I do is lay around and watch TV, and you get some damn good blog posts coming up. Let's take a look: Still to come: The episode where Cory and Eric think Amy is cheating on Alan. The episode where we meet Topanga's sister, then never hear of her again. The episode where Feens does the monologue from Hamlet. Not the one you're thinking of, either. Feeny likes to surprise. And many more! So thanks for sticking with me, if you're still sticking with me. More to come.

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