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Friday, April 1, 2011

Where I'm going, and where I've been

Do I still have readers? It would be awesome if I did. Here's the deal. I am now 26 weeks and some days pregnant with a little girl. She's baking up right nice. We're going to name her Clara. I know, it's adorable. The flip side of that deal is called hyperemesis gravidarum, hiply called HG by my doctor. HG is basically one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life. We're all used to pregnant ladies feeling a bit peckish their first trimesters, maybe having a bit of sickness here and there. It goes away by 12 weeks, and then the pregnant lady gets her bump and she's adorable and then the third trimester comes and she gets bigger and starts waddling and then she has a baby. Countless TV shows and movies have shown me that this is the way it works, dammit. Not so for those diagnosed with HG. HG is a bitch. It's bitchier than first season Topanga at a NRA convention. It's more evil than Evil Shawn in the episode where he killed everyone. It means you will still be puking your face off at 26 and some days pregnant. It means you will have to choke down protein shakes every day to keep your weight up. It means the dog that you rescued by yourself two years ago and thought the sun rose and set with you will suddenly start cuddling up to your boyfriend, because he's the one who takes care of her now. It means that you do the bare minimum- get up, go to work, go home, lay down, and things like your social life and that fun blog you used to have will go straight out the window. HG is a bitch, and I would like to kill her. It. Whatever. There's light at the end of the tunnel, here. There's two pills that are magical. They stop the puking! Which stops the dehydration! Just in time for the third trimester, in which you get too tired to do anything and too big to put on shoes. So that's where I am. Tethered to magic pills, but making it. I am also in the process of moving out to the 'burbs with my awesome boyfriend. That happens next Saturday, and there will be internet there. Our own network and everything. Couple that with the fact that said boyfriend's spring sports leagues have all started and that all I do is lay around and watch TV, and you get some damn good blog posts coming up. Let's take a look: Still to come: The episode where Cory and Eric think Amy is cheating on Alan. The episode where we meet Topanga's sister, then never hear of her again. The episode where Feens does the monologue from Hamlet. Not the one you're thinking of, either. Feeny likes to surprise. And many more! So thanks for sticking with me, if you're still sticking with me. More to come.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Santa's Little Helper

I didn't get it in time for Christmas, but in the post Christmas/pre New Years slump, enjoy this holiday episode recap...
Feeny is reading A Christmas Carol to the class while Shawn and Cory goof off in the back. They even ask when the Grinch shows up. Feeny tells Topanga and Cory to switch places, and the two boys get all indignant, and Feeny asks if the boys really got the point of the story. They totes don't. This is important later.
At lunch, Cory and Shawn talk about all the presents that are piling up under the tree. Cory says he's getting a real NBA quality basketball for his big gift, and he's been saving for the whole month for buy a $5 basketball net. Shawn is eating a home-packed lunch instead of buying the delish and nutrish fish stick meal Cory is consuming, and he says that the sports store has pretty much moved into his house. Minkus comes over to remind Shawn he needs to pony up $5 for Feeny's gift from the class, and Shawn says he'll give it to him tomorrow because he just spent his last five spot on lunch. Uh-oh. Cory is kind of oblivious and keeps on talking about all his gifts and how he can tell which ones are good and which ones are wool. He particularly hates wool. Topanga overhears and says Christmas isn't about gifts, it's about appreciating friends and family and celebrating the winter solstice.
After school, Amy takes Morgan to the mall to see Santa. When they get home, Alan asks how it went and Morgan runs upstairs crying and locks herself in the bathroom. Amy explains that as soon as Morgan sat on Santa's lap, he "grabbed his chest, yelled 'Rudolph', and fell over" and now Morgan thinks she killed Santa, even though he'll be ok. Amy and Alan think it's kind of funny and clue Eric in so he can help coax her out of the bathroom.
Cory runs in and starts shaking boxes to see what's new. He's got three new gifts but he tells Alan he's going to call Shawn and say he has five new boxes. Alan tells him maybe he shouldn't exaggerate that much because Shawn's dad lost his job and Shawn won't be having a great Christmas this year. Cory asks if he can give Shawn one of his gifts and Alan says that would be really nice of him.
Amy and Eric bribe Morgan out of the bathroom with a flannel shirt, sunglasses, and necklaces. She says she was also scared of the mean, vaguely mobstery elf, and Alan says she won't have to worry about him anymore. The doorbell rings. Who could it be besides the aforementioned elf? Back to the bathroom for Morgan. He returns Amy's money, and Alan asks why he was so mean to his daughter. While smoking a cigar -seriously- mobby elf tells him that as soon as Morgan sat with Santa "Badda bing, badda boom- heart attack!" Alan just closes the door in his face. Man I love Alan.
Shawn comes over and Cory gives him the basketball. Shawn asks what he's doing and Cory says he knows about Shawn's dad and wants him to have a good Christmas. Shawn says he doesn't want the charity and the two boys fight. Feeny overhears and Shawn runs off. Cory tries to garner sympathy from Feeny, but he tells him that giving gifts just to get thanks is as bad as throwing gifts back in people's faces. Christmas is a time to appreciate the real gifts in life like friendship and love of family. Awwww. Thanks, Feeny.
The next day, Shawn doesn't sit with Cory at lunch. Minkus comes in and tells Shawn he's buying the gift and he needs the $5 right now or he won't put his name on the card and everyone will think he's a deadbeat. Shawn just says that's the way it is then, and leaves in a huff. Cory calls Minkus over and gives him the $5 he was saving for his basketball net, and tells Minkus that he owed Shawn the money, and Shawn's not a deadbeat and his name should go on the card too. When Minkus gives Feeny the gift, Feeny reads the names on the card and Shawn is really surprised his name is on it. He thought Minkus just did it to be nice and thanks him after class, but Minkus tells Shawn Cory gave him the money. Shawn can't believe Cory gave the money for his net away.
He comes over to the Matthews' later and says that he found and old net while he was cleaning his garage and gives it to Cory. He asks if they can be friends again and they play each other for the ball. It's lovely.
Feeny ends up dressing up like Santa and coming over to tell Morgan she didn't do anything wrong, but she calls him out and asks Amy why Santa looks like the Feen.
*Eventually the reading of A Christmas Carol moves to the Matthews' living room, but it's nice that they kept that in every year.
*The shirt Eric bribes Morgan out of the bathroom with is reversible pink and purple flannel. I bet he wore it tucked into khaki's. Sooooo 90's.
*That elf is ridiculous. Seriously.
*Minkus tells Cory that Shawn's name will be last on the card since he was last to pay. That seems really unnecessary. Why not just do it alphabetically? Of course, Minkus is first on the list.
*If you're wondering, Feeny gets a dictionary.
*Shawn found a basketball net cleaning out his garage? Isn't one of the cornerstones of the "Shawn is poor" storyline throughout the ENTIRE show that Shawn lives in a trailer? They couldn't have said cleaning out my room or cleaning out my house?
*Feeny is the worst Santa in the world. Shouldn't he be more comfortable around children? He's really uncomfortable in the episode coming up where he babysits Morgan, too.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Urg- Part II

I know're all like "where the eff is my BMW?" Trust me, it's coming. I just needed some time becuase I had to figure some stuff out.

I told you I was quitting to Nano. That was true, but not so much the actual truth. I think a got a whopping 156 words written (last year I clocked in at 50,443, so I was kind of upset.)

However, my November kind of blew my life up. Why? Cause on good old Halloween, one of my very favorite holidays, I got a big fat postive pregnancy test. We're expecting on July 6.

I can safely say now that my boyfriend and I are very excited, but we definitely had some adjustments to make. I'm in the process now of moving my stuff into his house, and looking for a new house out in the county, closer to his parents, and further from inner city schools. Problem is, on top of my extreme sickness, exhaustion, and general moodiness, his internet kind of sucks, which is why I haven't been updating as well. However, a look ahead in the episode guide shows a Christmas themed episode coming up, so we're about where we should be at for the season.

I promise that recap (and more!) very soon. Till then, thanks for bearing with me.

Monday, November 1, 2010


I really, really didn't want to do one of those "I'm terrible at updating my blog" posts so soon, but it's true. Turns out I'm fairly terrible at updating my blog. I hope everyone had a happy halloween. Quick anecdote-

I wanted to be a peacock, so I bought a blue dress for $7.50 at H&M. I went to get tail feathers and it turns out peacock feathers are absurdly expensive. My boyfriend convinced me to buy a bag of cheap craft feathers and glue them all over my dress and just be a bird. Upon applying said feathers, I realized there is just no bird in the world with hot pink, orange, zebra, and swirled blue and brown feathers, so I threw some yellow felt and black stripes on the back and made a stinger and went as the birds and the bees. It was a nice save.

Anyway, between that, Nano, and a few personal issues, I've been remiss in my BMW duties. Rest assured, there will be posts soon- probably when I go crazy from too much nano.

Until then, enjoy this BMW quiz. It's pretty hard- I got 5/10

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Class Pre-Union

Cory and Minkus are role-playing in history. Cory is George Washington and Minkus plays King George. They go back and forth for awhile until Cory stops and says history is boring and they should all think about their futures. Mr. Feeny says that's a good idea and gives an assignment- pretend you are coming to your 20th high school reunion. What's your profession? Married? Kids?

Minkus says he'd like to marry Topanga. She's flattered, but says she doesn't recognize the institution of marriage. At lunch, the boys talk about what they want to be. Shawn will be a tire salesman like his dad. Yeah-Yeah is back, and is going to be a teacher just like Feeny because he thinks that'll net him a good grade. Cory scoffs and says the boys aren't thinking big enough. He's going as what he actually wants to be- a center fielder for the Phillies. Shawn and Yeah-Yeah point out how crappy Cory is at little league, but he doesn't care. He runs home and writes down stats, makes a baseball card, and fashions his own cereal.

Morgan wore a gold necklace of Amy's to her friend Stephanie's birthday party and ends up trading it away for a cheap plastic one. Amy calls Steph's mom, but she's not having any of it and says she won't give it back. Amy sets up a playdate and Stephanie and her mom Jane come over. Jane explains that Stephanie is super attached to the necklace and it has nothing to do with the value of it. In the kitchen, Morgan bribes Stephanie out of the necklace, her hat and dress, and Jane's car with nothing more than brownies, a tiara, and my little pony. Morgan needs to teach sales seminars.

At the Class Reunion, Minkus does pretty much what Richard Gere does in Pretty Woman. He's got a massive portfolio with lists of assets, stocks, bank loans, etc. In his personal life, he's married to Topanga, and they've just celebrated the birth of their third child, Rainbow Einstein Minkus.

Topanga is the president. She's disbanded the military, eliminated nuclear weapons, instituted a national dress code of togas, and moved all men underground to only be used as breeding. Feeny tells her Minkus said they were married and she just says they don't see eye to eye on their futures.

Shawn is a tire salesman, with a bitchin' mustache/beer gut combo. Yeah-Yeah is dressed exactly like Mr. Feeny and Feeny sees straight through it and fails him. When it's Cory's turn, he shows Feeny his card and cereal and says he dropped out of high school in junior year for a 6 mil a year contract. Feeny says that's not a ton of money for a major league ball player, and Cory replies that he sunk some of it into "investments." Feeny doesn't believe him and says that because Cory has no high school or college degree, he won't be able to manage money or any investment once his career is over. He gives Cory an incomplete and Cory is heartbroken.

Cory pulls all of his baseball stuff off the wall and Alan comes in to talk to him. Cory asks if anyone told Alan he couldn't be the grocery store manager when he was little. Alan says he actually wanted to be an engineer and build bridges, but then his dream changed into having a family and providing for them. Now his dream is to be the father of a Phillies center fielder. Cory says he'll have to give that up, because baseball player dreams are just for kids.

Eric is on the phone with a friend when Cory rushes downstairs and hangs it up. He calls Shawn and tells him to round up all their friends because Jim Abbott is in their kitchen. Eric doesn't believe him, but lo and behold, Jim Abbott is in the kitchen. He gives a nice pep talk about overcoming odds and how his high school coach said Jim would never play in the majors, what with his lack of a hand and all. However, Jim is grateful to him because he helped him get into Michigan so he could get a good education.

Later, Cory is playing ball out back and hits one into Feeny's yard. Cory tells Feeny all about Jim coming over and says that he's going to go to college just like Jim and get noticed that way. Then he'll go into the majors and be a big star. Feeny says Jim seems like he had things thought out pretty well and Cory would do well to emulate him. To show how proud he is, he gives Cory all his balls back. (Heh. Balls.)


*Stephanie's mom Jane is a bitch.

*Feeny tells Yeah-Yeah that someone tries to dress up like a teacher and kiss ass every year. He just thought of this assignment. I understand giving Shawn an off screen sister who we never hear about again, but there should at least be continuity within one episode.

*Some chick dresses up as a Vegas showgirl for the reunion. It's a bit of a risqué costume.

*At the end, Alan and Amy start making out o the couch and it turns out Cory is filming it. He asks for a little action. I'm not sure if he means action as in something more interesting or action as in "get sexier" but either way it's creepy.

*I love hippie Topanga

* Did the Phillies and the Yankees have a rivalry in 1994? Cause I'd think Cory wouldn't be so enamored with Jim Abbott.

*When all the kids come over to see Jim and get autographs, Minkus accidentally brings a basketball. Poor Minkus.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Teacher's Bet

We open with Cory and Shawn talking about Barry Bonds making millions of dollars a year. Minkus overhears and is disgusted that sports stars make so much but Feeny only makes about $40,000. Cory and Shawn are amazed by this figure and can't believe he makes so much, but Minkus thinks he's quite underpaid. Cory points out that Feeny doesn't actually DO anything, because the material never changes and all Feeny has to do is tell students the same thing year after year.

In class, Feeny assigns The Diary of Anne Frank as part of the unit on prejudice. Cory makes a disparaging comment and Feeny calls him out after class. Cory doesn't really apologize, he just says that since teaching is so easy, his smart ass comments stir things up and make it interesting for Feeny. Mr. Feeny ponders this and gives Cory the opportunity to teach one of his classes for the rest of the week. If more students than normal pass the test, Cory will get 1/5 of Feeny's paycheck. If more fail, Feeny will get Cory's new bike.

Cory rushes home to tell Alan and Amy about the bet. They have some reservations, but Cory just brushes it off. Eric brings home a new girlfriend, Linda. Linda is very pretty and smart and happens to be Japanese.

The next day is Cory's first class. He pretty much throws one big party and assigns the same homework as Feeny did. Minkus points that out and Cory says he knows 6th graders sometimes don't do homework, so he's giving everyone a second chance. Minkus replies that he did do his homework, so Cory gives him an assignment to get a life.

Alan asks how the class went and Cory says it was great, they partied and Shawn taught Feeny to play poker. Alan says that's fun and all, but wonders if he actually taught anything and Cory says no, because the book is the teacher. Alan raises his eyebrows at that and inquires if Cory's actually read the book. Cory skimmed it and came to the conclusion it was about the Nazi's and when there was prejudice a long time ago. Alan tells Cory he's going to lose his bike.

That scares Cory and he asks Shawn for help getting the class back under control, but Shawn blows him off. He tries to call roll, but Topanga is mediating, Minkus gets sassy, and the class gets out of control. Cory just sort of sits there defeated.

At home later, Cory is actually reading the book and realizes it's sort of hard to be a teacher. Eric leads Linda in and sits her on the couch. Linda is sobbing and distraught, and it's not until Morgan asks what's wrong that Eric tells them someone called Linda a really bad name and the mall. Amy takes Morgan into the kitchen and Cory is incredulous that something like that happened that day in their neighborhood.

The next day in class, Cory tells everyone about what happened with Linda. No one pays attention and Cory almost quits, but then turns around and asked Shawn his mother's maiden name. Shawn tells him it was Cordini and Cory calls him a wop. Everyone immediately stops what they're doing and looks. Shawn starts pushing Cory and tells him he's going to kill him. Cory stops him and asks what Shawn would do if he lived in a country where he could be killed just because of his name. He gives the class a speech about racism being bad and says everyone has to read the book and pass the test so that they can all stand up and fight against prejudice.

It turns out the bet is a draw and neither Cory nor Mr. Feeny have to give anything up. Cory is happy but can't believe people still failed. Feeny says it'll happen no matter what, but Shawn got a B and usually gets C's so Cory must've gotten through. This makes Cory feel better and he realizes he learned an important lesson, too.


*Shawn has a different denim vest. Still has the ripped sleeves, but with a classy collar, not a sweat hood.

* While Cory teaches, Feeny is a student. His student clothes are a Phillies jersey and a Meat Loaf hat/sweatshirt combo. Feeny is such a fashionista.

*When Eric brings Linda home, she asks Morgan if Eric's brought home lots of girls. Morgan says there's been billions. I have a very scientific girl tally, and this is not the case.

*At one point Alan brings groceries home in a reusable bag. The Matthews were on the cutting edge of the green trend, people.

*On the first day of class, Cory says he's doing away with the no hats policy and Topanga asks if they can also go against dress code so she can wear a sari. Wouldn't those rules be established by the school and not Mr. Feeny?

*Feeny is late to class and says he was "chillin with his homies."

*At the end, Linda makes the cheerleading team. Amy used to be a cheerleader and does this ridiculous, cheesy cheer. Eric says cheerleading is cool and cutting edge, but Linda demonstrates the exact same cheer.

Girl Tally:
Eric- 3
Shawn- 0
Cory- 1

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Banned Books Week

Check out Nikki's post for full celebration deets.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

You won’t find me comparing this book to The Catcher in the Rye. Oh, comparisons can certainly be drawn (and have been, almost ad nauseam). Why? Because my name is Caitlin, I hold a Bachelor of Science in English Literature, and...


Phew. It’s finally off my chest. In fact, as come of age stories about boys go, I much prefer the woefully UNDERrated A Separate Peace.

My friend Carolyn routinely comes to visit me toting large boxes of books. She puts stickers in the ones she wants back and I throw the rest onto paperback swap when I’m done. It’s a fool-proof system. She introduced me to this book years ago when we were living together. “Here, read this, I think you’ll like it”…it was a highlighted, dog eared copy with strict instructions this was one she wanted back. Obviously this negated the need for the aforementioned sticker system. I flipped through it, and the quotes she’d highlighted immediately stood out. “I feel infinite” was the first one I saw. I turned to page one and was off to the races.


The story in and of itself is very simple. I like things to happen in my books. I like court dramas, murder mysteries, horror novels, and the occasional chick lit. Character studies don’t do much for me. However, the simplicity of this story works highly in its favor. At its core, it’s a story about “Charlie” finding his place in the world. He begins high school confused about who he is and what his roll is in his own life. He’s recently reeling from the suicide of his middle school friend and the death of his favorite aunt. To help sort things out, he begins to write letters to an anonymous “friend” who he heard was nice. The entire school year unfolds throughout, and the reader is let into Charlie’s world. He’s the youngest of three, with a football star brother and a sister who has enough issues to make her own book (I would totally read that). He’s an outsider looking in, reticent but ready. His English teacher takes a special interest in him and gives him extra credit books to read, so he spends most of his time going through those. There’s a boy in his shop class who seems very nice to everyone, and they get to talking at a football game. Patrick and his stepsister Sam become Charlie’s near constant companions, and he’s pleased as punch about it. Charlie develops a near epic crush on Sam almost instantly and feels terrible about it. With the help of friends, Charlie goes to parties, drinks, smokes, becomes enamored with and eventually a part of the Rocky Horror Picture Show crowd, and generally has a pretty good time discovering there’s a life apart from being a wallflower.

*Non-spoiler alert*

I want anyone who reads this book to come at it with fresh eyes. Without giving too much away, Charlie and his friends deal with domestic violence, homosexuality, sexuality in general, physical and sexual abuse, drugs, alcohol, depression, and suicide. I realize putting it all together in one sentence like that makes it sound like the most over the top afterschool special/lifetime movie/soap opera hybrid in the world, but it’s the point of view that makes it worthwhile. Charlie looks at all of these as an outsider, even the ones that directly involve him. He’s like the photographer that lets the lion eat the gazelle instead of stepping in, because that’s how life goes. The writing is engaging, and riddled with anecdotes, one liners, and totally highlight-able quotes that unfold the story as if you were the “friend” Charlie is writing to. Some people have said there’s a twist ending to the book, one you won’t see coming, and that it’s kind of a cheap ending designed to play on emotion. I don’t agree. By the end, you are emotionally involved with almost all the characters, and what happens in their respective arcs matters.

*Why is the book so challenged? *

The depictions are real. Not fact based, but there’s not a lot that gets sugar coated. Charlie says “penis.” He describes oral sex, gay sex, and sexual abuse in frank terms. There’s swearing, drug use, masturbation, drinking, and other horrors.

*So what?*

Newsflash. High school aged kids swear, smoke, drink, and copulate. Not all of them, but a solid faction. If anything, this book puts all that into perspective. It doesn’t matter if you hung out in the basement or were homecoming queen. Every teenager has had self esteem issues, self doubt, self hate, and moments of self love (high self esteem wise, not diddling your diddle, though that also happens). This book speaks to that. It reinforces that it’s ok to fall down, it’s ok to experiment, and it’s ok to let out what you’re feeling. These are lessons that are important for teenagers to learn. This book resonates with the high school crowd. I was in my early 20’s the first time I read it and it certainly resonated with me, so much so that I now own my own (ha) highlighted copy. Look how much it affected these fine folks here and here <--- tattoo pictures that wouldn't load to the post properly, totally SFW.

This is a book that needs to stay in the system, and stay relevant. If Catcher in the Rye and even A Separate Peace can do it, this should round out the trifecta.