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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Grandma Was a Rolling Stone

Keri Russell! Rue McClahahan! Making out is not a spectator sport!

Cory and Shawn are collecting snails out of Mr. Feeny’s garden to use as bait to go fishing. Alan points out that fish don’t eat snails and Feeny just laughs it off before launching into a ridiculous story about catching small mouthed bass. All three make a pretty hasty exit. We find out Eric isn’t going on the fishing trip because “he’s discovered girls.” In fact, Eric has been using Morgan’s cuteness to meet girls at the mall. Amy says it’s fine, she’s actually glad the two of them are bonding.

La Cucaracha blares out as a harbinger for Rue. She comes in wearing the most redic outfit. Claudia Kishi is probably the only other person who could pull it off, because we all know she looks distantly dibble in everything. Rue doles out presents- a shrunken head and promise of new clothes for Morgan, a bull whip and promise of a car show/girls for Eric, and a Cal Ripken Jr. rookie card and promise of an autograph for Cory. She also bestows dried cactus on Alan and Amy, proclaiming it will make them “regular as a diesel.” Poop jokes. Always a classy move, BMW.

Rue takes Morgan shopping and they both buy a bright red shirt covered in white fringe. She takes Eric to the car show and he gets his arm signed by Victoria’s Secret model Graciella Tertciana. He’s about two steps away from awkwardly sexing up to his own arm when Feeny comes in and says his niece is in town. Eric thinks Feeny is asking him to date the niece and pretends to be sick, but Feeny just wants to know what teenagers do. Eric tells him dinner and a movie and Feeny leaves.

The next day, Cory comes downstairs ready to go to Baltimore (!) to get the Ripken card signed. Rue is nowhere to be found, and Amy distracts Cory by asking him to bake with her. They end up making four batches of muffins. Amy tries to bake a cake next, but Cory thinks something happened to Rue and they should call the cops or go look for her. Amy gentle explains that Rue sort of marches to a different beat, and she’s probably not coming. Cory is pretty bummed, and Amy says she’ll take him and Shawn bowling if he’d like. Cory calls Shawn, but Shawn left with Alan to go on the fishing trip. Cory is even more upset because he lost his grandmother to who knows what and his best friend to his father. He goes to sulk in the treehouse.

Eric spies Feeny’s niece outside. Why, it’s Keri Russell! He runs outside, hops the fence, and picks up a heavy bag of fertilizer in an effort to appear strong. Morgan comes out and goes through her spiel, and Keri takes it hook, line, and sinker. The three of them go to the fair. When they come back, Morgan cons Eric into giving her his sunglasses because she knows he can’t say no in front of Keri. When she goes inside, Keri calls him out on using Morgan and on having some random chick’s name on his arm. She’s either incredibly stupid or Eric is incredibly charming, but she forgives him pretty fast and they get to kissing. Cory sees them for the treehouse and Alan and Shawn come back from fishing and catch them. Everyone just sort of stands around until Shawn calls Eric “The Lipmaster!” and Keri gets embarrassed and goes inside. Eric scoffs at all of them and leaves. Cory jumps down and whines about missing the day with grandma and his dad. Alan sends Shawn home and brings Cory inside.

Alan explains that Rue is different from most people. Once when Alan was little, she forgot to sign a permission slip for a field trip to a space exhibit at the museum. Little Alan was super bummed because the rest of the class got to go, and he really liked rocket ships. One day, Rue woke Little Alan up and drove him down to Cape Canaveral to see an actual rocket launch- while his classmates watched it on little black and white TVs. He explains that while the whole world was watching the launch, Rue was watching him. She loves Cory, but she shows love differently than most people.

Rue comes in and apologizes for missing the day with Cory. He accepts and says that the Cal Ripken card is his favorite, and his signature might have messed it up. She promises to do something really great the next time she’s in Philly, and Cory says he can’t wait. Eric runs in and asks Alan to cover for him and says he’s been at home. Feeny follows with a flashlight and tells Alan to keep Eric and his hormones away from Keri. Rue juts in and covers for Eric, but Feeny says he just heard her pull up and run over his mums. She asks Cory who Feeny is and Cory explains he’s his teacher. She asks if Feeny gives Cory straight A’s and when he says no, Rue goes to run over the rest of his mums.


*So many Baltimore references here. Remember when the Orioles weren’t a joke? I wasn’t living here then, but I hear stories.

*After Keri goes inside, Alan wonders how she’s related to Feeny. Eric says “Niece.” Alan replies “Niiiiiiiice.” Super pervy, AM.

*In regards to the above, there’s a running theme in the later seasons with wordplays on niece/nice/niche.

*When they’re collecting snails, Shawn is wearing a long sleeved baggy thermal, a loudly patterned baggy T-shirt, and a jean vest. With the sleeves torn off. With a sweatshirt hood. I can’t believe I collected this kid’s poster out of Tiger Beat.

*I think I might be in the Morgan minority (I like the later Morgan a lot more than this one.) However, this episode is my tuning point from annoyance to acceptance. She’s pretty funny in this one.

*When Rue asks Cory if he’d like to go to Baltimore to get the card signed, he replies “What are you, new!?” I totally say this all the time, and did not realize it was from this show.

*I did every spelling combination imaginable in Google to find the model who writes on Eric. I don't think she's real.
*We have to put Rue in the character graveyard. In later seasons, Cory's only grandparent is Grandma Boo-Boo, who is alternately alive and dead. Rough life, Boo-Boo.

*A little layout update: I’m not going to be pulling quotes for the titles of the blogs anymore. There’s too many good lines. I’ll start including a best lines section instead. Next time though, because I’m writing this at work and didn’t write any non-Baltimore lines down in my notes. *
Girl Tally
Eric -2
Shawn- 0
Cory -1

Character Graveyard
Stacey, Shawn's sister
Bernice (Rue McClanahan), Cory's grandmother


  1. Yes! I totally remember when the O's weren't a joke. I'm a lifelong O's fan and am heartbroken over what that asshole Angelos has done to our team. Save the Birds indeed!!!! I've never seen this episode, but it actually sounds good what with Blanche and Felicity and all the B-more references (and Cal, Jr. swoon! Fun fact - his autograph isn't worth much because he's well known as a player who will sign anything for anyone anytime.)

    As soon as I read the word niece, I started thinking about Eric as Plays With Squirrels exclaiming over the fact that he has a niche. Plays With Squirrels = my favorite BMW moment ever.

  2. And Topanga's sister, too. Nebulah "Stop the War" Lawrence. Though you'll probably get to her later.

    I wish Grandma Bernice had showed up again. She rocked!